this fire is burning

It’s so crazy to me that, in one month’s time, I will be back stateside. Today, I had a last meeting with my coach before I see her in NYC in about two months.

I trained a little, worked on my monologue, and learned some things about myself.

A listing of her comments, just so that I can store them away: a fine actor, especially good for film. very fresh, would be able to deliver in very few takes but might have trouble keeping it fresh with many takes. needs voice work. has an ethereal quality, reminds her of a young meryl streep. much potential. solid base but must work on technique. obvious for ophelia. extremely truthful.

The one thing that really stood out to me is that I need to work on my voice. And just my luck, my school will be offering a voice class this fall. So I can either try to get into this class or hire a coach, which could be costly.

This means that in the two months before I see her again, I need to have chosen three additional monologues (contemporary comedic, classical comedic, classical dramatic). This requires that I read A LOT of plays. I also would like to read some books on acting technique while I wait. I want to have my total of four monologues chosen before classes start up in the fall.

In addition, I will audition for two acting classes, a bunch of plays, and perhaps some student films. I will get my head shots done and submit to casting directors, agents, and managers in the New England area. I will interview for the voice class. I might enter into the lottery for another acting class. Hopefully, something will stick and reaffirm this conviction of mine.

I stepped out of the underground public transportation system yesterday to go to my internship, to find a movie filmed right there. Magic.

I am Sooze, finally

I did a lot of reading while on a weekend trip to a steamy southern location and came across a monologue a former acting teacher had always wanted me to do. It’s Sooze’s monologue from Eric Bogosian’s SubUrbia.

Something about the monologue had always turned me off. I think it’s because Sooze speaks in detail about the death of her brother who had Downs Syndrome. It made me feel uneasy. But upon rereading the play, rediscovering the monologue… it just felt right. Immediately, I knew that I had to switch my audition monologue to this one. I had been waiting for a monologue to click with me, and finally something did.

I discussed my former fear of this monologue with my coach. She said that recently a student of hers had performed it for a class. The student had cut out the beginning, where Sooze explains that her brother had Downs Syndrome. I guess it made her feel uncomfortable too. But we agreed that those beginning lines are important to the story and to the character. I’m glad that I’ve reached a point where I’m no longer afraid of this monologue. It’s beautiful. It’s poignant. And I really feel for Sooze throughout the entire play.

I don’t know if I’m speaking too soon, but I had some sort of a breakthrough with my coach a few days ago. I did a relaxation exercise, a breathing exercise using my monologue, and some associations. Although I was at first somewhat skeptical, the work really helped in the end. My coach was very happy with my work. I was very happy. We laughed. I cried. It was good.

There rest still a few concerns. I don’t think there’s enough of an arc in the monologue. I think it’s too monotone, if that makes sense. My coach said that I deliver it in a way that is very real, so the audience would go anywhere with me. But I don’t fully agree.

I have my work cut out for me.
I’m also waiting for another shipment of plays and another acting book. I want to find my contemporary comedic monologue as soon as possible. Then, onto the classics!

I’m already bracing myself for my university’s drama course and play auditions in the fall. I can do this!