Class starts soon – the old monologue

I received an e-mail yesterday about the class I will be taking. It starts next week. It will be small–seven people total. I have to miss two classes, because I will be going on a trip, but I’m afraid I will miss a lot.

I wonder how many of my classmates are native English speakers? The e-mail asked for our ages (so that the instructor can pick age-appropriate monologues and scenes in advance), if we prefer to work in any language other than English, and for us to bring in a prepared two-minute monologue.

None of my acting books or plays have come in yet, so the idea of presenting a monologue at this point is not very ideal. I have one go-to monologue that I always use in times like these. I’ve been performing it for five years, which on one hand means I am comfortable with it. On the other hand, sometimes I feel it to be a bit stale. My original emotional prep behind the monologue stemmed from problems I had with my first boyfriend before we broke up (when I was sixteen!). I also haven’t read the play that it’s from, Grandma Duck is Dead by Larry Shue, in ages! Now, I remember very little from the play, which does not make the monologue particularly strong. So I need to firmly rely on my own instincts, emotional prep, and cloudy memory of the circumstance behind the text. Not great but could be worse. I’ve had the monologue memorized for years and no longer have a text version.

I had been looking forward to presenting a new monologue, from one of the plays I ordered, but this isn’t possible since they haven’t arrived yet. The last time I auditioned with the piece from Grandma Duck is Dead, I was very nervous, still delivered, but didn’t exactly nail it the way I had hoped.

Oh well. I’m going to work out soon, shower, read some blogs, work on my monologue, and maybe scan craigslist for any anglophone acting opportunities.

A newfound blog addiction and insomnia

I have been reading actors’ blogs nonstop. What I should be doing instead is selling stuff on ebay (I told my boyfriend I would sell his computer parts), researching which digital camera should be my birthday present, studying for the GREs, enjoying the weather, and shopping (it’s sales season here, and I get my paycheck on Friday). Hmph.

I read these blogs before I go to work and at the end of my shift (around 11:30pm/midnight), when there is little to do. This is my education until the books come in and the classes begin. I start at the blog’s very beginning and read the posts chronologically until present. Many blogs are a few years old, so this is quite time consuming. I feel a little silly but enjoy it thoroughly.

I worked out today, more than yesterday but still not as much as I had hoped. I have been trying some new makeup products. I’m attempting to get onto a better sleep schedule so that I’m not exhausted once acting classes start (I’ll have class from noon until 5pm and then work from 6pm until 12:30am or so). It’s easy to thrive as an insomniac when your job allows you to do so. I have been going to bed around 4:30am, sometimes a little earlier, sometimes a little later.

A somewhat uneventful day

Today, I worked on my body a little bit.  I feel a little behind, because I also wanted to work on my voice some more.  Oh well.  These are two things I will do as soon as I wake up tomorrow.

I thought that some of my books would arrive today, but they haven’t.  I ventured downstairs to the mailbox in pants and a cardigan to hide my work-out clothes.  Little did I realize it’s around eighty degrees Fahrenheit today!

I randomly received a casting notice from a non-English drama school to which I had sent some e-mails.  I sent an amateur headshot (regrettably, I still don’t have up-to-date professional ones) and a resume.  A few of the roles are for English speakers but none really within my age range.  There is one language ambiguous role within my age range.  But all in all, nothing too exciting.

I am going to finish replying to some e-mails, take a shower, and get ready for work.  I work in the evening, which allows me to make the most of my day.  I really should take more advantage of that!

Current Short- and Long- Term Goals

All right, so I have decided that in order to do this, I need to set some long-term and short-term goals.  I don’t know how productive my plan will be, but these are all things I feel I need to do.

So here they are, with some explanations:

SHORT TERM

- Read as many plays as possible this summer and come up with at least two strong, contrasting monologues. This is not as easy as it seems, since I am currently living in a non-anglophone country where it is difficult to find reading material in English.  I recently bought a considerable amount of plays, thanks to amazon.  Once they arrive, I will start to read them and thus commence my search.

- Reconnect with the craft. My own confidence in my talent has diminished a tad with this current acting hiatus.  I will read the books I bought for inspiration, learn from classes, and benefit from private coaching.  I will practice my monologues.  I will polish and hone my technique.

- Draft a list of schools.  I have a general idea of which schools I would like to apply to, all on the east coast and most in the NYC area.  There are MFA programs and there are conservatories.  I need to figure out the benefits of going to one instead of the other.  Which have showcases?  Are they frequently attended by industry professionals or do students have to do publicity to get a good turn-out?  Are past/current students happy?  Will I be prepared to enter the business?  Do they offer financial aid or scholarship? So many questions.  But I figure, it can’t hurt to apply.

LONG TERM

- Get involved again. I have not tried to break into the theater clique at school (and from what I understand, it really is a clique).  But I will try out for shows, audition for classes, and pay special attention to casting calls for student films.  In addition, I will try to get involved in theater and film in the area (I go to school in New England).

- Start to put myself “out there.” I desperately need new headshots.  So that’s first, along with updating the resume.  Next, I should do mailings to casting directors, agents, and managers (mainly in the New England area).  I would like to make a little bit of a mark in this region before I head out to a much larger, more unforgiving one.

- Continue to work on audition material. This probably means coaching and classes.  Must have four monologues (two classical, two contemporary, contrasting in nature) and one 16-bar song.  I have never taken voice classes, so the song will be a challenge.

- Figure out when to graduate. I can graduate either after fall semester or in the more traditional spring.  While I receive excellent financial aid from my current college, spending the spring semester there will still cost a pretty penny.  By not going, I will save myself and my parents some money.  By going, I will buy myself extra time, training, and experience before thrusting myself into the real world.  Similarly, I should look into tutoring (various subjects, SATs) and teaching English as a second language over the Internet as possible survival jobs.

- Finalize a list of schools. After some additional training, experience, and research, I will hopefully be able to create an intelligent list of schools.

- Apply. Fill out applications online and collect all relevant material.  This includes writing a personal statement as well as getting 1-3 letters of recommendation.  Blah.  Next, schedule an audition.

- Audition. This probably won’t be pretty, but I bet it will be an exhilarating learning experience.  After this step, I will need to pause, reevaluate, and adapt accordingly with a new set of goals.

George Carlin (R.I.P.)

When I was little, I used to stay up late to watch HBO.  Every now and then, HBO would air both old and new George Carlin comedy shows.  A few years ago, I had the opportunity to watch him live with my father, who has always been a huge fan.

R.I.P., George Carlin.  Thanks for the laughs and insight.

An Explanation of the Past

It feels odd to me that the last time in my life I felt so driven to pursue this passion was when I was in high school.  I was so young.  Did I peak then?  I hope not.

The first time I realized that I might possibly have any talent was when I was eight years old.  As I played the main character in a short play from a textbook, a substitute teacher instructed me to call a well-known theater in the area to see if they needed any child actors.  I told my mother, but she never called.  Through the years, I found myself showered with praise whenever in a position to play a part.  Summer camps and acting schools soon became my favorite haunts.

At thirteen, I started taking classes with a certain teacher who really opened my eyes.  I suppose he saw potential in me.  After a few weeks, he placed me in a different, much more advanced class and helped me to get cast in an independent film.  I was the youngest in the class, where most students were between the ages of sixteen and eighteen.  I stayed in the class for five years.  There, we practiced scenes, monologues, commercials, and audition technique among other dramatic aspects.  We primarily studied and practiced the work of Sanford Meisner but also Uta Hagen, Stella Adler, and a little bit of Lee Strasberg.

It was exhilerating.  I acted and directed in plays in high school.  I voraciously read books about the history of theater and the ideas of different teachers. I could never get enough.  It consumed my daily thoughts.

By fifteen, I landed a manager.  Unfortunately, I had awful head shots and limited opportunities to go into the city for auditions.  With two working parents, school commitments, and limited access to transportation, I had trouble attending auditions even with a few days notice.

When it came time to apply to college, my drama teacher encouraged me to apply to and audition for top schools to get my BFA.  This caused my parents to become both worried and kind of angry.  They liked that theater was my hobby, but thought that pursuing it any further would be a waste.  Without their financial support, I knew it would be impossible for me to attend any undergraduate conservatory.

In effect, I abandoned my dream.  I did not apply to even one school for a BFA.  I went on to one of the best universities in the country, where I will soon receive my BA.

My disappointment turned into a fear of doing anything theater-related.  I was afraid that if I participated in theater while in college, I would realize it was my life’s calling.  And I knew that was no longer an option for me, especially after my parents’ reaction.

But I wasn’t able to stay away from it for very long.  On vacations, I visited my old acting school.  And I began to appear in student films on campus.  Still, I did not do very much and would consciously stay away from auditions due to my silly fear.

Now, I’ve been abroad for about six months. I haven’t acted in a while, which is what refueled my interest.  Mentally, I felt restless and un-centered.  And I knew it was because I had not done any acting in a while, not even an audition.  Thankfully, I will soon be taking classes.  When I return State-side in a few months, I intend to continue to grow as an actor.

I’m rusty, but I’m ready.  I have confidence in my natural instincts as an actor, but I am aware that my I need to hone and polish my skills. I am young enough that I believe I can still take risks in my life to follow my passion.  But I am fully aware that if I wait a few years, this will pass me by.

The time is now.  Come January, I plan on auditioning for a number of conservatory and MFA programs.  I have not yet decided upon my audition material, nor to which schools I will apply.

This is the first leg of the journey.  I am excited!

A New Start

I am starting this blog to keep my thoughts straight.  After six months void of any acting opportunities (I have been studying abroad since January), I finally took some action.  Hours of research yielded a few acting classes (in English) that I could afford.  It’s still fairly expensive, especially with the American dollar in its current weak state.  But for now, I think it’s necessary.

I start one class in about a week and am seriously entertaining the idea of coughing up a fair amount of euros for private coaching.

Living without acting in my life has made me realize how much I love it.  I have become extremely restless without it and recently bought approximately fifty euros worth of plays and books.  I feel differently than usual, not at all relaxed. Something needs to change.

I want to get back in the game, and I need to prepare.

And so, my journey begins.